what you do after your little brother's funeral

A difficult day after days of mourning and heartbreak.  Tears can go on and on, but how does the recovery begin?

For my family, today, this is how we started.  We followed our first instinct, which was to head to the ocean, to the Jersey Shore.  Ocean City is the favorite of our family, so this evening we caravanned the 35 miles to the boardwalk, a boardwalk and an ocean that Ronnie had wanted to see at least one more time, even if he had to be pushed in a wheelchair.  That wasn't meant to be.

So we, as part of our healing, returned to the familiar, enjoying every minute we had with each other: all of my siblings, some of my nieces and nephews.  I felt so bad for the four of Ronnie's grandchildren that were with us, as well as for his two beautiful grandchildren in Minnesota, that they would never have any more time getting to know their grandfather.  Yet I was also thinking how his blood runs through them all, and I see the beauty, the gentleness, and the love in each of them.  Knowing this, and keeping our memories of Ronnie vivid in our minds, is how we recover.  He won't ever really leave us.