before i pack the suitcase

It's amazing how exhausted, both physically and emotionally, a person can be after sitting with a loved one who is suffering.  I go home tomorrow after this nine days of trying to keep my brother company in the hospital, and it is frustrating that he is really no better and that here I am leaving with him still in that hospital bed, not knowing what is next for him.  I told him how helpless I feel, and he says that is what everybody tells him.  Today I took his grandson James to see him, and Ronnie, even though he has some difficulty speaking, seemed to be saying goodbye to both of us.  I really don't want to be saying goodbye.