Why is it that I sometimes sit on the sidelines and watch my life passing by me, a spectator instead of a participant?
I go through these periods of seeming to not ever wake up and take charge of myself... I have just gone through one of those essentially self-destructive phases, maybe for two months running... letting life happen, being reactive instead of proactive...
Then I snap out of it.
Some undefined something happened just a day or two ago -- the phase of the moon? -- and I'm out of that stupid inertia and am kicking myself for having wasted two months.... Gotta make up for lost time. It's decision time.